


Fraying

by DreamingKate



Category: Glee
Genre: AU Klaine, Institutionalized (Past), M/M, Medication, Schizophrenia, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-05
Updated: 2014-07-05
Packaged: 2018-02-07 14:02:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1901736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingKate/pseuds/DreamingKate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine knew that having schizophrenia would make things harder. He never thought he would get a boyfriend after his world fell apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Blaine first thought he was different when he was eleven.

He had been in his room when the whispers came back. The boy froze and looked up from his book, a shiver running down his spine.

“Blaine,” a whisper came from the far wall and he ran his hand repeatedly in circles on the spine of his book, letting his fingers catch on the ridges.

“What?” He breathed, uncertainty creeping into his mind.

“Come play,” a bird flew through the wall and landed on his dresser. Blaine relaxed and smiled.

“Blue,” Blaine gave the bird a pointed look, ignoring the chills. “I want to read, this book is really good.”

Blue ruffled his feathers, and Blaine watched in awe as they shifted into multiple vibrant colors. The bird grinned (how could birds grin?) and fluttered to the bed.

“You used to play with me all the time,” Blue sulked.

“I’m too old for imaginary friends,” Blaine scoffed and turned a page.

Sudden stinging pain burst across his arm and he let out a sharp yelp. Blue glowered at him and pressed sharp talons to the shallow gashes in Blaine’s arm.

“I am not an imaginary friend,” the bird snarled.

The door opened and his mother ran in, eyes wide.

“Blaine, are you okay?” His mother hurried over, grabbing his bloody arm. “I heard you yell, what happened?”

Blaine stared down at his arm and where Blue had stood which was now empty.

“I…I don’t know. I think Blue did it,” he whispered, before he saw his own bloody fingernails.

“Blue isn’t real,” she pulled him out of his bed and rushed him to the bathroom. “He was your imaginary friend when you were little but you know he isn’t real.”

“Yeah,” Blaine whispered as his mother cleaned blood off his arm. He glanced into the mirror and saw a flash of multicolored feathers.

The first time Blaine and everyone else knew he was different he was thirteen.

It was a really stressful week. Blaine had four huge tests; a book to finish, a choir concert and he had just realized his crush on Louis Evans, making him feel horribly guilty.

“You should,” he jumped at the deep voice echoing through the room. “You’re looking at other boys in school. That’s disgusting.”

“I’m trying to study,” Blaine whispered, feeling the shivers start down his spine again. “Please go away.”

“No,” the voice whispered and Blaine felt like his blood was on fire. “You know that no one is going to love a little faggot like you. Do you think mom and dad will still love you?”

“Of course,” Blaine shuddered, he was burning up.

“They won’t. They’ll never look at you the same. Everyone will hate you,” the voice snarled and Blaine shuddered as it grew louder and louder. “You are a disgusting, pathetic freak.”

Blaine jumped to his feet and covered his ears with his hands as the mirror above his dresser shattered. He cried out and closed his eyes tightly.

“Blaine!” His father tried to open the door (when had he locked it?). “What happened?”

The thirteen-year old staggered backwards and screamed in pain as his broken hand throbbed and blood dripped down his fingers.

His father broke open the door and staggered in, paling at the sight of all the blood.

The shivers down his back and the fire in his blood intensified to the point that Blaine thought he would explode. He leapt at his father with a snarl and dug teeth and nails into everywhere he could reach.

The next few moments flew by in a mix of screams, blood, and Technicolor flashes.

“Fuck Blaine,” his father rammed himself backwards into the wall. All the air rushed out of Blaine in a yellow cloud and he slipped to the ground. “What the hell happened?”

He could make out his mother sobbing into the phone.

Blaine let out a string of nonsensical words and struggled backwards. He was on fire, like something was under his skin.

_Something was under his skin._

He let out a piercing horrified scream and sank his teeth into his arm. His father grabbed his wrists and slammed them into the wall.

People were all around him and they pushed something sharp into his arm. Colors began to fade away and he could make out the EMT’s surrounding him and the horrified faces of his parents.

Then the colors faded all together and the world went black.

He felt fuzzy and strange when he woke up. Blaine blinked heavily and tried to figure out what was happening.

“Mr. and Mrs. Anderson,” a soft voice bled through the cotton in his head. “It appears that Blaine had a psychotic episode. Now this is really rare in children his age but it is an indicator of schizophrenia.”

He heard his mother’s soft sob but was still trying to push his way through the fog in his mind.

“Have you noticed anything different with him?” The doctor’s voice sounded like a smooth stream of water and Blaine hummed softly.

“Well, he still has imaginary friends,” his mother moved to his bedside and smoothed down his hair, smiling tearfully down at him. “We can hear him talking in his room sometimes to no one.”

“He hurts himself too,” he could hear his father but couldn’t see him. “He has this deep scratches in his arms or breaks the mirror and can’t explain them.”

Blaine let out a groan and turned his head to the side slowly. He saw his hand was in a cast but what worried him the most was that he was tied to the bed with padded cuffs.

“Wha…what happened?” He slurred out feeling like his tongue was too thick for his mouth.

“You’re in the hospital baby,” his mother pressed a kiss to his forehead. “You had an accident.”

“What’s the last thing you remember?” The doctor asked, stepping into his eye line. Blaine stared blankly at the light reflecting off of his square glasses frames. “Blaine?”

“Uh…I was talking to someone,” he said softly.

“Who?” The doctor asked and his mother closed her eyes, a few tears escaping.

“I…I don’t know,” Blaine could feel the tingling in his spine, which was beginning to break through the fuzziness in his head. “He’s just there. I don’t really like him.”

“Blaine, do you ever hear voices?”

“Sometimes, they come from the walls,” Blaine could feel tears well up. “That’s not right is it? I’m not right?”

“We think you might be sick Blaine,” the doctor put his clipboard down on a nearby table. “But we’re going to help you.”

~*~

A sudden siren blasted through the small dorm room, startling Blaine out of sleep. He sat up quickly and blinked blearily in the direction of the noise.

“Jesus Christ Wes,” he snapped, still trying to get his bearings. “Find a new alarm. I hate that one.”

“But it always wakes you up!” Wes grinned, obnoxiously chipper for such an early morning.

“Because I think there’s a bomb threat or something,” Blaine yawned into his hand as Wes dug his uniform out of the small closet. “Please find something better.”

“Just trying to help you out buddy,” the Asian boy laughed before he disappeared into the bathroom.

Blaine rolled his eyes and pulled the long pillbox from under his bed. He carefully counted the multicolored pills before he started downing them one by one.

When he swallowed down the last pill, wincing at the chalky taste, he glanced up to see Wes holding out a bottle of water to him.

“Thanks,” Blaine downed half the bottle and smiled at his friend. He had told Wes and David the truth about his condition last year. They had not hesitated a moment before telling him that he had their full support and they would keep it a secret.

“No problem dude,” Wes straightened his tie and glanced at himself in the mirror. “Are you going to get ready or just sit there?”

“You think you’re so funny,” Blaine huffed as he grabbed his uniform off the back of his chair.

“Hurry up or David is going to eat everything and we’ll be left with yogurt for breakfast,” Wes laughed and gave his roommate a goofy grin.

Blaine chuckled and stepped in front of the mirror, digging through the drawer to find his razor and shaving cream. He hummed softly as he lathered up his face with the cream and began shaving.

A horrible scratching noise made him jump and Blaine hissed as he cut himself. He scowled and spun around, ready to yell at Wes for scaring him but the room was empty.

_Probably nothing._

The scratching sound returned and it sounded like it was coming from behind the closed bathroom door, getting closer and closer.

Heart pounding, Blaine pressed himself against the far wall of the bathroom. Full body shudders began to run through him as he let in small hitched breaths, vision blurring.

“Blaine!” His head snapped up when he heard Wes opening and slamming the door. Suddenly the scratching and the shudders went away, leaving him feeling exhausted. “You have to come down for breakfast! It’s French toast day!”

“Be right down!” Blaine called out, quickly moving to wipe the rest of the cream off his face and clean up the blood.

He listened as Wes dug through his desk and hurried to get dressed, suddenly nervous at the idea of being by himself in the bathroom. The two boys made their way into the massive dining hall and sat down at one of the circular tables with their breakfast.

Suddenly, Blaine’s phone buzzed with an incoming text and he completely ignored his French toast and bacon to answer, small smile spreading across his face.

“Who’s that?” David asked around a mouthful of food.

“Kurt,” Blaine mumbled, fingers hovering over the keypad before he typed in his answer.

“That kid from Lima who was spying on us?” Wes asked as he spread butter on his stack of French toast. “You guys are still in contact?”

“Yeah,” Blaine snapped his phone shut and placed it on the table. “He’s just being bullied so badly and I gave him some advice to help him out. I just don’t like seeing him so miserable.”

“What advice?” David raised his eyebrows and gave Wes a quick glance.

“I told him to stand up to that guy, to not play the victim,” Blaine was moving his hands quickly as he spoke. “I guess I’m the only other person who understands what he’s going through because I’ve gone through it too. I am the only person who can help him.”

“Blaine,” Wes said softly and put down his fork. “You know that you didn’t transfer here because of bullying right? You have like no idea what’s going on with this kid.”

“You told him to stand up to the guy who was tormenting him? That sounds dangerous,” David looked serious as well and Blaine could feel his chest grow tighter. “Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m fine,” Blaine gave them a shaky smile. “I know what’s going on. You both are looking at me like I’m crazy.”

The awkward silence that followed did nothing to sooth Blaine’s fine trembling.

“Fine,” He snapped suddenly, feeling hot anger rush through him. “I’m sorry, I’ll take my crazy elsewhere. You don’t have to worry about me any more.”

He stormed out of the dining hall, ignoring his friends calling out to him and went to his classroom early.

As he was walking to lunch, Blaine got a phone call from Kurt.

“Hey! What’s going on?” He couldn’t help but smile as he answered but it vanished when he heard the shuddering sob on the other end. “Kurt? You okay?”

“No,” The other boy choked out. “No I’m not. I stood up to Karofsky like you said. I told him exactly what I thought and followed him into the locker room so he would listen to me. Then…then he grabbed me and kissed me.”

Blaine felt his chest tighten and stopped in the middle of the hall, ignoring the freshman that bumped into him.

“He what?”

“I guess he was pulling pigtails,” Kurt let out a humorless chuckle. “Like little boys do on playgrounds to girls they like. He was torturing me because he was like…in love with me or something.”

“Oh Kurt, I am so sorry,” Blaine whispered, feeling horrible. “Do you want me to come get you? We can have coffee or something.”

“Yes,” Kurt didn’t hesitate. “Please, you are the only one who knows how I’m feeling right now.”

Blaine felt a small smile creep onto his face as pride flushed through him.

“Yes I am.”

~*~

The next week Kurt had transferred to Dalton.

The first couple of months he was there Blaine and him were inseparable. Kurt had easily made it into the Warblers and was quickly making friends.

“Hey,” he stood in the doorway to Blaine’s room and smiled faintly. “Do you want to get coffee and talk?”

“Sure!” Blaine snapped his Calculus book shut, relieved to have an excuse not to look through proofs. “Everything okay?”

“Kind of,” Kurt shrugged and ducked his head. “I just need to talk, you know?”

“Of course!” He stood quickly, grabbing his blazer. “I’m always here to talk. Let me just make a quick phone call and I’ll meet you by the main door in five?”

“No problem,” Kurt gave him a half wave and made his way out of the room. As soon as the door shut Blaine dialed his psychiatrist’s number and sighed as he got her voicemail.

“Hey Tracy, its Blaine. Guess you’re in a session right now. I’m not going to be able to make it to our session today something else came up, but don’t freak because I’m feeling great! I’ll give you a call to set up another session. Bye.”

He grinned as he walked down the hall, feeling better than he had in a long time.

“I love the Warblers, really,” Kurt sighed as he stirred his nonfat latte. “It’s just weird coming from somewhere where individuality was encouraged to somewhere where you have to be exactly like everyone else.”

Blaine nodded slowly, sipping on his hot chocolate. He loved fitting in with the Warblers. At the hospital everyone had been different and it was horrible.

There was Alex, his roommate, who would stare blankly at the wall and scream occasionally, and Amanda who thought she was three years old, and Justin who would try his hardest to rip his wrists to pieces with everything from coat hangers to his sharpened toothbrush.

It was nice to pretend to be normal. It was nice to belong and be like everyone else.

“It’s different in an a cappella group,” he pointed out, cutting off a piece of the muffin from the plate in the center of the table. “It’s not about standing out, it’s about knowing where you fit and knowing that without you the group would fail.”

“I know,” Kurt sighed.

“You aren’t a background singer in the Warblers, you are an essential piece of the puzzle,” Blaine waved his fork in the other boy’s face, making him chuckle.

He smiled and leaned back in his chair, lightly twirling his fork in his fingers. Blaine’s eyes fell onto Kurt’s hand that was resting on the tabletop and it was like his eyes were drawn to it.

_Do it. Stab him with the fork._

The hissed voice made him tense and he tightened his grip on the utensil.

_No. I’m not going to do that. Kurt is my friend._

_He’s using you. You know it right? He’s out to make you look like a fool for tripping all over yourself to get to him._

Blaine’s hand twitched towards Kurt’s and he dropped the fork as if it had burned him.

_You’ll see._

He felt like a strong force was tightening around his throat and he choked. Blaine’s hand clutched at his throat for a moment before the pressure vanished and he was able to draw in a breath.

“You okay?” His head snapped up to see Kurt staring at him with concerned eyes.

“Fine. Just fine, that muffin went down the wrong tube,” he smiled shakily and downed the rest of his hot chocolate.

For the rest of the time that they sat and talked, Blaine could feel the anxiety building. He knew he had to tell someone that the hallucinations were still there; maybe they could adjust his medication.

_Or send him back to the mental hospital._

He shuddered at the idea and tried his hardest to focus on what Kurt was saying. Blaine couldn’t help but smile at how enthusiastic the other boy was when he talked about what he was passionate about and tried to match it.

When they finally got back to campus, they had to run to Warblers practice to avoid being late. The group quickly got into formation and began their run of ‘Hey Soul Sister’.

Blaine had never sung better.

The boys made their way to the cafeteria for dinner, spaghetti and meatballs to everyone’s excitement, and watched some television in the common room before going off to bed.

“Are you okay Blaine?” Wes asked as he pulled on his pajamas. “You’ve been acting differently lately.”

“I’m fine,” Blaine shrugged, pulling out his pillbox.

“Okay,” Wes didn’t look convinced. “Just know that I’m here if you want to talk. We just want you to get better.”

Blaine gave him a faint smile as he opened his pillbox and froze. The pills were different. He quickly moved his fingers through them and tried not to panic.

_They were trying to send him back to the mental hospital by changing his pills._

He tried not to let Wes know that he knew the truth and stepped into the bathroom. Betrayal burned painfully in his chest as he stared down at the unfamiliar pills in his hand. Blaine quickly dropped them into the toilet and flushed, feeling satisfied that they hadn’t tricked him.

“You need a bottle of water to wash those down?” Wes called from inside the room.

“Yeah,” Blaine leaned against the wall, closing his eyes. “That would be awesome.”

~*~

Blaine knew something was not quite right.

Wes and David were his best friends and he knew that they would never hurt him. He trusted them more than anyone else in the world and they were the only ones who knew about his condition.

Which made it hurt so badly when he began to notice the powder in his food.

At first it was a strange taste in his mouth whenever he ate something in the cafeteria. Blaine could tell that there was a metallic aftertaste but no one else seemed to notice.

_Because they were immune._

Then he began to see the remains of a white powder on his food, even when they went out, and knew they had figured out that he had stopped the fake pills and were trying to get him this way instead.

So Blaine stopped eating.

He would make excuses to avoid eating with his friends, saying that he had homework or a headache and would go to his room. Whenever the hunger pains got to be too much, he would buy a small snack from the vending machine in the middle of the night so no one would know.

“Hey Blaine?” Kurt knocked on the door and stepped into his room.

“Uh huh?” Blaine mumbled, scribbling down something else in his physics notebook.

“I noticed that you didn’t come to lunch so I brought some up to you,” Kurt sat down on the edge of his bed and handed him a plastic container. “I think it’s chicken pot pie but wasn’t really sure.”

“Thanks Kurt,” Blaine smiled warmly and put his notebook aside. “I’ve just been so busy lately that I keep forgetting to eat.”

“I’ve been there,” Kurt laughed lightly and handed him a plastic fork.

Blaine felt his smile slide off his face when he opened the container. White powder covered the soggy biscuits and pieces of chicken. His chest tightened and he had to fight to urge to cry.

Not Kurt too.

“Something wrong?” Kurt frowned.

“No, I’m just not feeling very well,” Blaine tried to say around the lump in his throat. “I think I’ve caught something. I’ll eat this later, I promise.”

“Okay,” Kurt shrugged. “Have you finished your half of the French assignment? I was going to type it all up.”

“Yeah!” Blaine reached into his backpack and pulled out another notebook. “Sorry for taking so long.”

“No problem,” The other boy smiled and stood up. “I really hope you feel better Blaine.”

“Thanks,” Blaine smiled until Kurt closed the door behind him, and then shoved the container of food in the trash.

Kurt made his way quietly to his room, upset that Blaine didn’t seem to want to spend time with him. Of course he was busy, he was one of the top students in the school and couldn’t be expected to spend every waking hour with some new kid.

He sighed heavily and plopped down onto his bed, pulling out his laptop and began to type up Blaine’s answers.

So maybe he was a little bit in love with the confident, handsome boy who actually understood him and maybe it hurt that he couldn’t spend time with him.

Kurt scowled as his fingers flew over the keys and quickly turned a page before freezing.

The first couple of pages had been neat and perfect as far as their assignment went but it completely changed. The handwriting became jagged and messy, sometimes flying off the page all together. The answers went from being slightly wrong in spelling to being nothing like what the word was supposed to be, even made up looking.

Kurt stared blankly at the last page that didn’t even look like letters, just deep jerks of the pencil. His heart pounded as he slammed the notebook shut, not sure what to do.

 

~*~

“Are you still not feeling well?” David asked, looking worriedly at his friend. “It’s been like a week dude since you’ve gotten sick and you’ve hardly eaten.”

“Come to think of it, I haven’t seen you eat,” Wes pointed out. “Do you want me to get you some soup? You should probably be able to get that down.”

“Not hungry,” Blaine responded lightly, smiling across the table. “I’m feeling better now, only thing missing is my appetite.”

“I’ll just grab some for you just in case,” Wes started standing up. “You look too skinny anyway.”

_He’ll drug it._

“No!” Blaine jumped up, heart pounding. “I don’t need a babysitter. Just leave me alone.”

He left the cafeteria quickly, trying to ignore the colors flashing behind him and the whispering in his ears. His body ached, his heart pounded with anxiety.

Blaine collapsed down onto his bed, trying to fight against the horrible stomach pains. He let out a whimper and tried to curl up into a ball.

The whispers were almost deafening in his ears and he clamped his hands over them.

“Oh Blaine,” his eyes snapped open to see the brightly colored bird resting on the cage of his canary he had gotten when he joined the Warblers. “Look what you’ve done to yourself.”

“Shut up Blue,” Blaine whispered, feeling tears prick at his eyes. “You are not real.”

“Except you are no longer crazy and I still am here,” the bird cocked its head to the side. “Didn’t the pills help? Didn’t they cure you?”

 

“Until those bastards tried to replace them,” Blaine said more forcefully. “I was doing fine.”

“You know all they want to do is put you in that hospital,” Blue fluttered closer. “They want you out of their lives.”

“I know,” Blaine mumbled miserably. “I can’t go back there.”

“No, you can’t,” Blue said sadly. “Keep acting like everything is normal and don’t trust them.”

“They don’t love you Blaine,” the voice echoed painfully through his head. “They only want to hurt you. And you have to hurt them back.”

“They’re my friends,” he whispered.

“No they aren’t.”

“Blaine, I need you to cut the crap and tell me what’s really going on,” he sat down on his bed, eyes wide and worried. “Something is up with you and you’ve been hiding it from us. You’ve been taking your medication right?”

“Of course,” Blaine lied easily.

“You haven’t been seeing anything have you? You have us really freaked out,” Wes’s voice cracked and he looked down at his hands. “You would tell us right? If anything was happening?”

“Wes,” Blaine sat up and looked the other boy in the eyes. “I am fine. In fact I feel better than I have in a long, long time. Don’t worry about me, I’ve got it all figured out.”

“Promise?” Wes asked.

“I promise,” Blaine grinned so wide that his face hurt. “I wouldn’t lie to you.”

“I know,” He didn’t look entirely convinced. “I just want to make sure that you are okay. You’ve got us worried.”

It was like a switch had been thrown. Blaine felt like his blood was boiling and he leaned closer.

“I know when I don’t feel right,” He snarled, taking the other boy by surprise. “Don’t you dare pretend to know what it is like. I see how you judge me, the crazy kid, and try to be so careful around me. I told you before I am not a child and don’t need a babysitter.”

“I’m not saying that you do,” Wes’ voice was soft.

“I get it. It’s weird that I have some psychological condition and have been hospitalized,” his hands were moving sharply in the air. “Maybe the reason I’m all ‘freaked’ is because I am completely smothered by everyone. Everyone thinks that they know best and maybe I would be okay if everyone just LEFT ME ALONE!”

“Fine,” Wes raised his hands up in surrender. “I’ll leave you alone. Just know that you can talk to me whenever.”

“I know,” Blaine folded his hands to stop them from shaking. Wes nodded and left him sitting on his bed.

With every violent shudder, Blaine could feel the edges of his world cracking a little. He knew he needed to tell someone, he knew that he needed to confess that he had stopped taking the pills. Then what? Would they give him something worse? Would they hospitalize him?

A tiny voice in his head whispered that the reason he was so paranoid was because he had stopped taking his meds.

But maybe that voice was only there because he had stopped taking his meds.

He could do this on his own. He could be strong. He could ignore that it felt like everything was breaking.

~*~

Blaine had no idea why he ever took the pills.

The world was so much clearer even though the edges were blurred. Colors flashed in his eyes and he couldn’t focus on anything, too in awe of everything around him. Blaine felt like his whole body was vibrating and he constantly drummed his fingers on the table.

He felt alive.

“Blaine?” Wes grabbed at his arm, giving him a strange look. “Why are you going back to your room? We have Warblers rehearsal.”

“Oh,” Blaine felt a smile split his face. “Okay.”

They hurried to the rehearsal room, Wes leading Blaine through the hallways. Wes was too busy ranting about some problems with the choreography to notice that Blaine was blankly staring ahead. He felt detached, he felt like nothing could touch him.

“Okay Warblers!” Wes clapped his hands as soon they entered the room. “Sorry we’re late, let’s get into formation and run through ‘Hey Soul Sister’.”

Blaine found his position purely on muscle memory and turned to look at Kurt on his left. The other boy gave him a small smile and he was completely enthralled.

Kurt’s eyes were the most spectacular shade of blue. Then they began to shift to green before changing to purple, yellow, red, pink, silver, and orange. Blaine stared blankly at the light show that was Kurt’s eyes and felt his heart racing.

Suddenly the Warblers began the song and Blaine jumped at the explosion going around him. Every sound was accompanied with the most spectacular lights and colors.

“Blaine!” Someone snapped and the colors vanished to reveal an angry looking Wes. “Do you think you might want to jump in with your solo?”

“Okay,” Blaine said but his voice sounded far away.

Again, the music started and again the colors flew across his eyes. Blaine’s whole body shook and his spine felt like it was collapsing in on itself. The soft whispers were growing louder and louder.

“Jesus Blaine!” Wes snarled and grabbed at Blaine’s arm.

“LET ME GO!” Blaine suddenly roared and staggered away from the other boy, feeling his breathing hitch. “Don’t get near me.”

_They know! They know that you’ve figured it out._

The voice made him grit his teeth and everything began to close in around him. He stumbled back as Wes stepped closer.

“Don’t. Touch. Me.” Blaine twitched away violently from them. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Blaine, you’ve really fucked up,” the voice snarled and everything took on a red hue. “You were doing fine, better actually, and now they all know that you’ve figured it out. You’re going back to the hospital for sure.”

He let out a whimper and sunk to the ground. He flinched horribly when there was a flurry of movement around him, a rush of blue and red birds.

“Blaine,” his head shot up and wavered for a moment before he locked onto a nervous looking Wes. “Can you hear me?”

Blaine’s heart clenched when he realized that Wes, David and Kurt were the only ones in the room.

_They’ve surrounded the building, you aren’t getting out no matter what._

“Blaine,” Wes tried again, leaning forward and holding out his hand.

“He’s going to send you back!” the voice suddenly screamed making Blaine jump. “You can’t go back!”

“NO!” He screamed shrilly and aimed a punch, feeling it connect. “I am not going.”

Wes fell back, holding his bleeding nose, and let out a sharp cry. The cry magnified into multiple piercing screams that made Blaine cover his ears.

“I am not going with you,” he snarled, trying to keep his focus. “No way in hell. I tried to see the best in people but they were right, you want to send me back so they can keep torturing me!”

“We’re not sending you anywhere,” Kurt whispered, eyes filling up with cyan tears. “Blaine, we are your friends and we care about you. Let us help.”

“I trusted you,” Blaine wiped at the hot tears on his face, trying not to cry out when he saw the blood coating his hands. “I trusted you and I tried to help you. I really did because I cared about you. Now I see that you were just trying to get close to me so that you could send me back.”

His voice trailed off in a wail and he collapsed further in on himself.

“Blaine!” A woman’s voice called from behind the door. “Blaine, it’s Dr. Newton. You’re going to be okay.”

The Warbler’s eyes grew even wilder and he struggled to his feet.

“Oh God,” he moaned, head bursting with pain. “I’m not going with you so you can torture and kill me. I’VE FIGURED IT OUT.”

“Let us help you Blaine,” Dr. Newton began to turn the doorknob but stopped when Blaine began to scream hysterically, slamming himself against the wall.

“I’m not going back to the hospital. I would die first,” he shouted, eyes flicking around the room. “I am not going.”

Then his eyes rested on the open window.

_It’s your only option._

The Warblers practiced on the fifth floor of the main building and often opened the windows since the ancient air conditioning hardly ever worked. It had to work.

“Don’t,” Wes breathed when he saw what his friend was looking at. “Blaine, trust us. We want to help you.”

“No you don’t,” Blaine spat and twitched towards the window. “You don’t want to care, you are not my friends, and I’m not going to listen to you anymore.”

He suddenly sprinted towards the open window. Kurt let out a sharp scream and the entire room exploded into motion. David tackled him hard, knocking both of them into a pile of stands.

Wes ran to help hold down the hysterical Blaine and Dr. Newton ran in with a couple of EMTs.

“NO!” Blaine slammed back into David who let out a grunt at the impact. “Get away from me you bitch!”

“Calm down sweetie,” Dr. Newton brushed back his hair that had escaped the gel, jerking her hand back when he tried to bite her. “You’re going to be okay.”

She took a syringe form the EMT and pressed the needle into Blaine’s arm. The teenager dissolved into choking sobs as the colors began to fade around him and the screams in his head silenced.

He saw Kurt’s pale face and worried eyes before everything went black.

~*~

“So no one bothered to tell me about this?” Kurt asked sharply from the backseat of David’s car. “This is huge.”

“He didn’t want to talk about it,” Wes said, voice muffled by the blood-soaked cotton in his nose. “He hates making a big deal out of it.”

“He has a serious mental condition and I didn’t know until he was screaming at nothing and tried to throw himself out of a window,” Kurt’s voice trembled with anger. “I should have been told.”

“No one would have treated him the same,” David muttered. “It’s going to kill him when he finds out that everyone knows.”

“There’s something else you should know, and we should have said it to someone a long time ago,” Guilt flashed in Wes’s eyes. “His condition sometimes makes him think things that aren’t true. Usually he can tell the difference between reality and whatever goes through his head but lately it got a little weird.”

“He told you he was bullied at his old school and that’s not exactly true,” David looked uncomfortable. “And then it kept spinning off that and he just kept saying things.”

“So…he lied to me,” Kurt muttered, stomach dropping.

“No! Blaine didn’t lie,” Wes shook his head and winced when it jarred his nose. “It’s just when he gets stressed or something changes he can create some delusions.”

“Is he even gay?” Kurt snapped. “What is real with him?”

“Come on Kurt. He’s been doing well for a long time,” Wes glanced at him in the rearview mirror. “You can’t get angry at him for this. It’s not his fault, it just gets hard for him sometimes.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Kurt sniffed, wiping at tears. He was scared and confused, shuddering when he remembered how terrified Blaine had looked earlier.

“You don’t have to come in you know,” David said softly as he parked his car in the hospital parking lot. “He’s going to be a little off because of the medication.”

“I…I just want to see him,” Kurt whispered, feeling his chest tighten.

His eyes flooded with tears and he followed the other two boys slowly into the emergency room. The waiting room was bustling with screaming children, a puking man, and a woman hovering around him. Everything made Kurt’s anxiety heighten and he wanted to bolt out of there.

“Has this happened before?” Kurt asked as they found a couple of chairs.

“From what he told us, the first time he had a full blown break he was thirteen. He hurt himself and was hospitalized for half a year. Now, we don’t know what happened in the mental hospital but he is obviously traumatized by it,” David explained, rubbing his hand over his head.

“He has nightmares sometimes,” Wes added. “They really freak him out.”

“His month at Dalton he began to show major symptoms of relapse. He was depressed and began to completely shut down until he finally got his medication right and began to get better.”

“Until now,” Kurt mumbled getting a sad nod in return.

“I need to see my son!” A woman’s sudden panicked voice broke through the quiet they had surrounded themselves with. “Blaine Anderson, he came in today.”

Mrs. Anderson was a mess of tears and wild, dark hair. Her husband stood next to her, looking equally as upset.

“I’ll get the doctor,” the receptionist said calmly.

“Wes! David!” Mr. Anderson called out and the couple rushed over to the boys. “Oh God, what happened? They said Blaine relapsed?”

“He broke down during Warblers practice,” Wes explained as Mrs. Anderson touched his nose with a completely horrified expression. “It’s not that bad. He just got a little freaked out.”

“Did he get hurt?” Mr. Anderson asked as his wife shook with tears.

“He managed to ram himself into a wall a couple of times,” David hesitated. “And then he got pretty banged up when he had to stop him from jumping out a window.”

Mrs. Anderson went white and sank down into a chair, covering her face with her hands.

“Wes, you were watching him take his medication,” Mr. Anderson began and Wes fidgeted.

“Actually, he started taking it in the bathroom. I thought he just wanted better access to the sink but I guess he was getting rid of them. I’m so sorry,” guilt flashed in the Warbler’s eyes and he stared at the ground.

“This isn’t your fault,” Blaine’s mother shook her head, curly hair falling into her face. “You know this happens sometimes when he gets stressed, we should have just kept a better eye on him.”

“Family of Blaine Anderson?” A doctor called out, smiling faintly at the group. “Would you like to go into a private room to discuss Blaine’s condition?”

“No, they can hear,” Mr. Anderson shook his head and took hold of his wife’s hand.

“Your son had a psychiatric relapse. It appears that he was not taking his medication or seeing the psychiatrist. Now, physically he’s fine there are only a couple of bruises. But mentally, he’s still suffering from the relapse and it might take a few days for him to begin to react to the medication and even longer before he gets the full effects.

He shouldn’t go back to school until a psychiatrist approves of his improvement. It might also help if he were hospitalized until he gets better,” The doctor closed Blaine’s chart and looked expectantly at the group.

“Can we see him?” Mrs. Anderson asked softly.

“Yes, but only immediate family and know that he is physically restrained and sleeping due to some medication,” the doctor gave them another wan smile and led the Andersons back to the rooms.

“You don’t have to stay,” Wes whispered when they were left again.

Kurt nodded carefully and called his dad for a ride. The other two boys looked a little upset that he was leaving but said nothing as he walked out of the hospital. As soon as he was out, it felt like he could breathe again and he leaned against the wall until his father got there.

“You okay?” Burt asked as they were driving away from the hospital. “What happened to your friend?”

“Blaine…Blaine has schizophrenia and he had a psychotic break. He tried to throw himself out of a window,” Kurt struggled to keep his voice steady and Burt let out a low whistle.

“Why did you want to come home?”

“Because I don’t know what is real!” Kurt blurted out, eyes burning with tears. “He made me feel safe and not alone when he told me that he was also bullied and taunted at his old school but that’s not true. Everything our friendship was based on is a lie.”

“Not a lie Kurt. He didn’t do this on purpose,” Burt said and Kurt slumped down in the seat.

“What if our friendship was based off a delusion?” He whispered, wiping at his tears.

“You need to talk to him,” Burt pulled over to properly look his son in the eye. “Blaine is probably scared and confused and you can’t run away from this. If you want, I can call his parents and ask if you can see him.”

“Okay,” Kurt breathed, clasping his trembling hands together.

Three days later Kurt found himself standing outside of Blaine’s room talking to Mrs. Anderson.

“He’s been given his medication but it can take a couple of weeks to fully get the effects. Just know that he’s been given a small amount of sedative to calm him down a little,” she looked exhausted and twisted a brochure for a psychiatric hospital in her hands. “Please don’t hesitate to call is he gets agitated.”

Kurt nodded quickly and slipped into the darkened room.

“Blaine,” he called out softly, proud that his voice didn’t shake. “Are you awake?”

“Kurt? Is that you?” Blaine blinked at him blearily from the bed. “Are you here?”

“Yeah,” Kurt hung back by the door and stared at the faintly trembling boy.

“I really hope that’s you,” Blaine slurred slightly. “I hate being all alone here because I’m never alone and sometimes they yell but the medicine makes them whisper.”

“Uh huh,” Kurt fidgeted and suddenly Blaine looked a lot more aware of his surroundings.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to freak you out,” his hazel eyes brimmed with tears. “I just hate this. I hate that everyone looks at me differently and honestly who wants to be friends with the weird kid who is insane.”

“Blaine,” Kurt hurried over to the other boy’s side and sat down in plastic chair by his bed. “You are not freaking me out.”

Tears flowed over Blaine’s cheeks and he curled in on himself.

“It’s part of who you are,” Kurt whispered, gently taking Blaine’s shaking hand. “No matter what you said or did I understand and don’t think any less of you.”

“You’re my friend right?” Blaine sniffed, tears dotting the sheets. “I know I said that I was bullied and that wasn’t true, and I know that I said certain things that weren’t true but I know that we are friends, I didn’t make that up.”

“I don’t care that you said those things but I know we are friends,” Kurt gripped Blaine’s hand tightly. “I just got scared when I heard you were sick, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Everyone looks at me different and gets scared,” Blaine was still slurring slightly from the sedative. “I liked it when you looked at me like I was normal. I like being normal.”

“I’m not scared of you. I was scared when I thought you were going to hurt yourself,” Kurt’s heart clenched when more tears ran down Blaine’s cheeks.

“I thought it was you and it almost killed me,” Blaine whispered brokenly. “Everything kept telling me that Wes, David and you were trying to hurt me and I was so scared.”

“Blaine,” Kurt gently took Blaine’s chin in his hand and turned his head so he could look into his slightly unfocused eyes. “I would never hurt you. Never.”

The whispers increased in volume as he broke down in Kurt’s arms, tracing quick messy circles on his arm with his fingers.

“Are you seeing something right now?” Kurt whispered and Blaine shuddered.

“I’m seeing everything,” Blaine whispered, opening and closing his hands before letting out a slightly hysterical sounding laugh. “Maybe I’m even just seeing you. Maybe I’m all by myself in here.”

“I’m here,” Kurt took Blaine’s trembling hand. “I’m right here and I’m real.”

Blaine gripped his hand even tighter and whimpered against the whispering in his ears.

“Blaine, we’re real,” Kurt leaned over and whispered it into his ear, drowning out the other voices.

He drifted off into sleep almost instantly not noticing the slight kiss Kurt pressed to his forehead after smoothing back his curls.

“It’s funny,” Kurt whispered softly. “You can see things that aren’t even real but you can’t see that I love you.”

~*~

Kurt hurried down the hallway, balancing bags of sandwiches and salads in his arms. Blaine had been in the hospital for almost a week and had improved amazingly. The way his eyes had cleared up and the fact that his conversations made much more sense really calmed some of Kurt’s anxiety.

A sudden scream echoed through the halls, making Kurt nearly drop the box of tiramisu that was balanced on top. He hurried to Blaine’s room, waiting just outside hen he saw Blaine’s parents trying to talk to him.

“Sweetheart,” Mrs. Anderson pleaded. “Calm down please! Let’s just talk.”

“I don’t want to talk! I am not going back to that fucking place,” Blaine snarled, pulling his sheets up with shaking hands. “No way!”

“The doctor thinks that it will really help Blaine,” Mr. Anderson added, inching closer. “We just want you to get better and the faster you get better the faster you can go back to school.”

“I don’t want to go,” Blaine’s voice rose hysterically. “I’m not going.”

“Blaine,” His mother sighed.

“I’ll kill myself.”

The entire room went silent instantly and Kurt had to bite back a gasp. Blaine’s eyes were flashing and darted from side to side.

“Don’t say that,” Mrs. Anderson’s voice came out in a soft whisper.

“I mean it. If you send me back I will kill myself,” his voice was so emotionless that no one even tried to argue.

“Okay, we’ll talk about it,” Mr. Anderson announced into the silent room. “You just concentrate on getting better.”

Blaine’s eyes followed his parents as they left and locked on to Kurt. The other boy lowered his eyes as Blaine’s parents rushed out past him.

“Kurt!” Blaine’s smile was wide and strained. “You brought lunch!”

“What the hell was that about?” Kurt whispered, heart racing. “What did you just say?”

“You really don’t understand but I can’t go back to the hospital,” Blaine shivered and Kurt quickly placed the bags on a table before taking a seat by his friend’s bedside.

“It will help you,” Kurt said gently and reached for his hand.

“No it won’t!” Blaine jerked his hand away. “It’s hell. I hate it.”

“Blaine, be rational,” Kurt sighed.

“It’s a little hard to be rational when you’re certifiably insane,” he replied nastily, eyes narrowed. “And all I want to do is be normal, that’s it. When I’m in that  _place_  I am constantly reminded that something is wrong with me and everyone treats me with kid gloves.”

“What do you want us to do Blaine?” Kurt could feel tears filling his eyes and Blaine’s expression softened. “I will do anything to help you, you know that.”

“Why?” He whispered, staring down at the starched sheets. “Why would you want to help me?”

“Because you’re my best friend. Because I hate that you’re hurting. Because it kills me to see you like this,” Kurt bit his lip and stared down at his lap. “Because I really care about you, almost too much.”

“Kurt?” Blaine whispered, eyes huge.

“I know how much you hate going through this but hearing you talking about killing yourself? It made me want to die,” he let out a heavy breath. “I can’t stand the idea of being here without you.”

Blaine sat silently before he reached out to take his hand. Slowly, he squeezed Kurt’s fingers and moved his thumb over his knuckles.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly, continuing to stare at their hands. “I don’t want to make you sad, I never wanted that. You are so amazing and I want nothing more than to stay here with you.”

A smile spread across Kurt’s face and he sucked in a short breath. He quickly moved to grab their lunch and pulled over a rolling table.

“Can I ask a personal question?” Kurt asked, taking a careful bite of his sandwich. “And you can choose not to answer this, but can you tell me what they’re like? The delusions?”

“It used to be imaginary friends, people and animals that I would talk to. Then they never went away and would hurt me if I ignored them,” Blaine stared into Kurt’s eyes, trying to concentrate on that instead of the shivers. “But, when I stopped taking my pills I guess I got a little paranoid.”

“You guess?” Kurt laughed.

“I…I was so sure that I was seeing powder and hearing whispers. I was so sure that you all were trying to hurt me,” he closed his eyes tightly and let out a shaky breath. “Then all I could hear were voices and see colors and it felt like the world was just collapsing.”

Kurt didn’t say anything, just gripped his hand as he shook.

“Just to let you know, you look beautiful when you sing,” Blaine let out a tearful chuckle. “Your eyes would change into all kinds of colors and you were just surrounded by this amazing  _aura_  of light. Sorry if that sounds super creepy.”

“Not creepy at all. It’s actually pretty flattering in a weird way,” Kurt ducked his head, blushing slightly.

“Good to know,” Blaine gave him a small smile but his eyes drifted to the corner of the room.

“Are you seeing something now?” Kurt glanced behind him to the empty corner.

“It’s nothing,” Blaine smiled but his eyes remained locked on the corner.

“Tell me,” He whispered, squeezing Blaine’s hand until hazel eyes turned towards his.

“It’s just that I’m on this new medication, it’s a monthly injection, and it takes a little while before it really starts working,” Blaine ran his hand through his hair. “The wall was just shimmering a little bit.”

“Oh,” Kurt glanced back again.

“It’s great because now I don’t have to worry about taking pills every day,” Blaine smiled. “I’ll be a little more normal.”

“You’re my friend, normal or not,” Kurt grinned and for a moment Blaine’s expression softened.

“Hey Kurt,” He looked down nervously. “I’m about to say something a little weird so please stop me if it gets too strange. I’ve only ever told Wes and David about my condition, and now you know. You don’t look at me differently or avoid me.”

“I wouldn’t,” Kurt shook his head.

“I know,” Blaine smiled shyly. “I was just so terrified that you would find out because I couldn’t bear to have you look at me differently. You opinion matters so much to me, you matter so much to me. I’ll admit that I started…having feelings for you…and at first I thought maybe it was just something my mind made up but they haven’t gone away. If anything they are stronger.”

Kurt sat back, eyes wide and Blaine tightened his fingers around Kurt’s.

“Please say something,” Blaine whispered, giving him a nervous smile.

“I’m in love with you,” he blurted and smiled at the stunned look on Blaine’s face. “Not what you wanted to hear?”

“No! That’s exactly what I wanted to hear!” Blaine grinned widely. “I guess I wasn’t expecting much.”

“Blaine, you are such an amazing person. Maybe you have a disability but I don’t care,” Kurt said. “I don’t care about the disease, I just care about you.”

“I love you too,” Blaine brushed their fingertips together. “Thank you.”

“I know that you don’t want to go back to the hospital. I don’t want you to knowing that it causes so much pain” Kurt began, pulling a huge folder out of his messenger bag. “So, I’ve been researching and have compiled a huge stack of information about treatments and therapies. I want to help you through this. I want to see you get better.”

Blaine stared at him for a long moment before leaning up to press their lips together. Both boys leaned back, smiling shyly at the other.

~*~

Despite all the books and website Kurt had looked up, helping someone with schizophrenia was so much harder than he expected.

He had spent days combing through the piles of papers he had accumulated and had highlighted several important points that he read over every morning.

_What to do when your loved one refuses treatment._

_Many people with schizophrenia are reluctant to seek treatment. To them, the spies around every corner or voices in their head are very real. They may also be worried about being labeled “crazy.” In either case, you can make the first doctor’s visit seem less intimidating by focusing on a less touchy symptom, such as lack of energy, sleep problems, anxiety, or depression._

When Blaine was finally able to go home, he spent most of his time sleeping a. Every single day after school Kurt hurried over to his house and spent as much time with him as possible, knowing that Blaine was incredibly bored.

Kurt had thought that Blaine was going to be a little off from the medication but never thought about the lingering symptoms or side effects.

“Oh hello Kurt!” Mrs. Anderson smiled tiredly at him from the doorway. “Sweetie, I’m afraid Blaine is not having a very good day. Maybe you should come back tomorrow.”

“I don’t mind,” Kurt shrugged.

“He’s just a little off. I wouldn’t want you to get upset,” she continued awkwardly, glancing behind her at the stairs.

“Ma’am, I promised Blaine that I would see him through no matter what. I would really like to spend time with him,” Kurt tried to keep eye contact. “I’ll let you know if anything goes wrong.”

“Okay,” Mrs. Anderson opened the door a little wider and let him step in. “He’s supposed to go and get his injection in two days so I’m a little scared that it’s beginning to wear off a little.”

“Thank you Mrs. Anderson,” Kurt made his way up the stairs and knocked on Blaine’s doorway. When there was no answer he opened the door and squinted in the darkness.

“Blaine?” He called out softly. “It’s Kurt, I’m here.”

When he finally got used to the darkness he saw the trembling bundle of blankets on the bed.

“Blaine?” Kurt took a couple of steps in, hesitating for only a moment until the soft sob broke through the heavy silence. “Oh Blaine.”

When he sat on the bed Blaine practically threw himself into Kurt’s arms, sobbing harshly. Kurt stroked his curly hair, frowning at the almost violent tremors.

“I can’t sleep,” Blaine choked out. “The medicine makes he shake and hurt and I can’t sleep and I’m just so tired.”

“I know,” Kurt pressed his lips to his head.

“I want to stop taking it. Please  _please_  don’t let them give me another injection. I can handle the delusions I promise!” He continued to shake violently.

“You can’t stop taking it,” Kurt rocked him back and forth. “Remember how scared you were? Remember how you tried to hurt yourself. I know it doesn’t seem like it now but this is best for you. The side effects will go away and you’ll be perfectly fine.”

Blaine wiped at his eyes and curled his hands into Kurt’s blazer.

“I hate this,” Blaine whispered.

“I know,” Kurt used his sleeve to wipe off the tears from his face. “But you will get better soon and then you can come back to school.”

“Where everyone thinks I’m a complete freak of nature,” he said sarcastically, taking in a deep, trembling breath.

“Every day at school all of the Warblers ask about you. They all miss you and want nothing more than for you to come back. They’ve even been working on a couple of songs to record for you but that’s supposed to be a secret,” Kurt smiled faintly.

“Kurt, come on,” Blaine rolled his eyes.

“Blaine, no one cares. You are still that sweet, funny, charming guy who takes all the solos and everyone misses you,” Kurt grinned when he felt the small curve of lips against his arm.

“Will you come with me to get my injection?” He asked softly.

“Of course! We can get a cheeseburger or something when you’re done,” Kurt rubbed at his back.

“Our first official date! How romantic,” Blaine laughed, scrubbing at his face.

“It’s perfect,” Kurt smiled and leaned in for a quick kiss.

_The person with schizophrenia makes bizarre statements._

_Delusions—false beliefs based on a distorted view of reality—are a common symptom of schizophrenia. Arguing with a delusional belief or making fun of it will get you nowhere, since the other person is convinced that it’s true. But going along with the delusion doesn’t help either. Instead, simply state that you see things differently. Be respectful, but don’t tolerate behavior that is inappropriate or dangerous._

One afternoon, Kurt was sitting on the floor working on his homework. Blaine was lying on his stomach, playing on his laptop and humming softly.

When Blaine suddenly stopped humming, Kurt glanced up to see him frowning.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“Sorry, it’s just that you got that problem wrong,” Blaine pointed at the third problem and Kurt followed with his eyes.

“I haven’t answered that one yet,” he said softly.

“Well, see you put twenty-five but your forgot to add in the mass of the truck,” Blaine traced his finger along the words.

“Blaine, this is Spanish homework,” Kurt was frowning and almost instantly Blaine’s smile vanished.

“No,” he said, eyes narrowing. “It’s Physics.”

“No, sweetie I’m not taking Physics,” Kurt said slowly and Blaine’s face crumpled.

“Oh…oh I’m so sorry,” Blaine sat up and pressed himself against the wall.

“It’s okay,” Kurt quickly moved to sit next to him, tangling their fingers together. “It’s fine, no big deal.”

“I just…I just thought,” Blaine was muttering, staring at his hands.

“I know and it’s okay,” Kurt smiled, tipping Blaine’s chin up to meet his eyes. “It’ll get better.”

_The person with schizophrenia gets very worked up or angry._

_Stay calm. Don’t shout back or react with anger, sarcasm, or criticism. This is also not the time to try reasoning with the other person. Instead, suggest that you both sit down quietly for a while. Turn off the music, TV, phone, and other distractions, and ask visitors to leave. Avoid touching the person or making prolonged eye contact._

“Kurt!” He looked up; clearly surprised that Mrs. Anderson had hurried out to meet him before he rang the doorbell.

“Hi Mrs. Anderson!” He smiled but then saw her tight, worried look. “Is something wrong?”

“He’s having a really bad day today, one of his worst,” She ran a hand through her curly hair.

“What happened?” Kurt asked, now equally worried.

“He wants to go back to school and when we told him no he got really upset. His father is making sure he’s okay but he just went into a fit,” Mrs. Anderson sighed.

“I’ve been reading up on ways to help. Maybe he’ll feel less upset if I go up and talk to him,” Kurt said gently and she smiled softly at him.

“He is so lucky to have you here with him,” she pulled him into a tight hug.

Kurt smiled and walked into the house, instantly overwhelmed by the screaming and crashing coming from upstairs. He hurried up the step and narrowly missed a heavy book flying out of Blaine’s door.

“You just want me to be locked up forever!” Blaine shrieked. “You want me to get locked up and institutionalized so you don’t have to deal with me anymore!”

“Hey!” Kurt stepped in with a faint smile. Mr. Anderson turned around and instantly relaxed at the sight of him. “Do you mind if I come in Blaine?”

“I’ll just be outside,” Mr. Anderson said calmly and left the room.

“What do you want?” Blaine seethed and Kurt froze as he finally was able to look around the room. Curtains were ripped down, books were scattered across the floor, and his bed had been stripped even the mattress was pulled off the base.

“Calm down,” Kurt put up his hands but that just made Blaine angrier.

“Stop talking to me like I am two fucking years old,” He snarled and Kurt instantly sat on the ground cross-legged.

“Sorry! Just, maybe sit down for a little bit and cool off,” he said, trying to be as gentle as he could. “Please sit with me?”

Blaine quickly paced the trashed room for a few moments before sitting down on his crumpled comforter. He continued to war with his emotions, eyes narrowed as he crumpled up the fabric in his hands.

Kurt waited until the furious flashing died out a little in Blaine eyes before trying to speak again.

“Do you feel better?” He asked and Blaine slumped back against his pillows.

“Yes,” he mumbled. “I guess I got a little worked up.”

“What happened?” Kurt reached out to take his hand.

“I know I’m ready to go back to school,” Blaine said, sounding so upset that it broke Kurt’s heart. “I just know it. I’m feeling much better and I can’t stand being kept here.”

“Blaine, I’d rather you wait a little longer and be one-hundred percent than go now and not be perfectly healthy,” Kurt kissed Blaine’s knuckles and he relaxed a little bit more. “I only want you to be better.”

_You feel stressed, run down, and worn out._

_Make your own well-being a priority. Get plenty of sleep, exercise regularly, eat a nutritious diet, and get medical care for any health concerns of your own. Take regular breaks from caregiving to pursue a hobby, visit with friends, or simply spend quiet time by yourself._

Kurt was beyond exhausted as he parked at Dalton. The long days he spent with Blaine were nice but exhausting. It was wonderful to see him improve so much but he hadn’t gotten a moment to himself to just relax in weeks.

As he walked through the halls he got some smiles and a lot of claps on the shoulder. Confused, he looked for a familiar face.

“Wes!” He called out and the Warbler turned around, giving him a huge smile.

“Hey Kurt!”

“Why is no one is the practice room? Doesn’t practice start in just a few minutes?” Kurt frowned, wondering why Wes of all people wasn’t already completely set up for rehearsal.

“I’m just running a little late,” Wes nodded towards the practice room. “Just go on ahead.”

Kurt narrowed his eyes suspiciously for a moment before stepping into the main rehearsal room.

Blaine, dressed impeccably in his Dalton blazer, smiled at him and held out a cup of coffee.

“Non fat white mocha right?” He said, smiling slightly.

“What are you doing here?” Kurt dropped his messenger bag on a nearby chair.

“I went to my psychiatrist yesterday afternoon and she has cleared me to come back to school,” Blaine grinned as Kurt took the cup. “So, I dug out my uniform and picked up some coffee and came to surprise you.”

“Well, you succeeded,” Kurt laughed.

“And, after school I have booked a massage and facial for you. You’ve been so good to me and you need to have some Kurt time,” Blaine gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and pulled him onto the couch.

“But for now,” he whispered into Kurt’s ear and smiled. “Let’s just get through Warbler practice.”

Kurt pressed a firm kiss to his lips, pulling back to see his boyfriend smiling.

“Can we come in now?” Thad called from outside the door making them laugh quietly, pressing their foreheads together.

“Come on in!” Kurt called out, squeezing Blaine’s hand.

“Okay guys!” Wes clapped his hands as the Warblers filed in, grinning at the couple. “Let’s get to business!”


	2. Unhinge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by Coolgleekazoid: angst where blaine is schizophrenic but this time blaine is sitting in the choir room and kurt knows brittany gives blaine a lollipop (for brittany reason) but the voices tell blaine there out to get him so blaine throws the candy and puts his hands to his ears tellling them to stop people ask blaine whats wrong but blaines voice are still telling him there gunna hurt him so her back into the corner and other things happen. i was thinking back to this show i watched and thought of this thx.

“So are you here because mom made you come?” Blaine asked as Cooper wrapped an arm around his shoulder. 

“What? No,” he rolled his eyes at Cooper’s faked shock. He really wasn’t that great of an actor. “I’m just here to see my baby brother and meet his boyfriend. I know it’s stressful to change schools, leave friends behind, meet new friends, move back home-“

“And you’re here to make sure that I’m not talking to myself or trying to throw myself out of a window,” Blaine felt his fingers tingling slightly and a familiar tightness clamped around his spine.

“We all just worry,” Cooper said after a pause. 

“I’m on my medication, my psychiatrist thinks I’m doing awesome, I’m making friends and I feel great,” his smile stretched wide. “So tell mom not to worry.”

Honestly, the stress had been bad. As much as Blaine wanted to pretend that everything was all better, he couldn’t. When he transferred, things had gotten weird. 

_“Kurt?” Blaine asked softly from where he sat on Kurt’s bed._

_“Hmm?” His boyfriend looked up from his homework and spun his desk chair around to face him._

_“I’ve noticed a few of the New Directions…mainly Finn…don’t seem to like me,” he flinched and lightly dug his nails into his arm. “Is that real? Or is it in my head? I know that suspicion and-“_

_“Finn is being an ass,” Kurt interrupted. “I know these past few weeks have been tough but it’s not all in your head. He acts like a five year old because you’re better than him and he’s jealous.”_

_With a shaky smile, Blaine turned back to his homework. He stared at his paper until the bed dipped down next to him and Kurt slid a hand around his waist. He pressed their foreheads together and they just breathed in unison for a few moments._

_“Sorry for freaking out,” Blaine whispered._

_“Don’t apologize for that,” Kurt smiled. “You’ve been through a lot in the past couple of days. Anyone would be a little unhinged.”_

It was a strange feeling, feeling like he was losing his own mind. After all the Warblers found out about his condition, not that he really wanted to tell any of them, they were all beyond supportive. No one had said anything cruel to him and they all worked hard to make sure that he was okay.

Would it be the same at McKinley? Would Finn just use it as a reason to throw him out? Would Rachel jump at the chance to ban him from solos? Would Mr. Shuester say that Glee Club was for all kinds of misfits, just not the crazy ones? What if he had a breakdown in the hallway in front of the rest of the school?

The hockey team wouldn’t exactly support him.

Blaine knew it was important to keep calm and centered. Thankfully, he had Kurt so he had an anchor but the stress was overwhelming. The telling signs of a looming breakdown were coming more often.

He had uncharacteristically yelled at and shoved Sam.

He had reacted coldly to Finn. 

He still felt like the rest of the club was ganging up on him even though they had made it clear that he was part of the family. 

He had just felt numb when Karofsky had tried to kill himself. 

Despite all of this, his psychiatrist was optimistic. She said that he was making great progress and that he was doing wonderfully on his medication. Blaine knew that schizophrenia wasn’t something that he couldn’t fix; he knew it was something he would have for the rest of his life. 

But things were getting better. He was throwing himself in new environments with new people and he was  _normal._

“And you’re just going to love this acting class,” Cooper threw him a wink as he led him into the choir room.

Blaine walked stiffly back to his seat, aching as he sat down and tried to ignore the stars in everyone’s eyes. He knew his parents put most of their attention on him and that wasn’t fair to Cooper who always needed to be the focus of attention. He knew it wasn’t easy on Cooper and he had generally avoided Blaine after the diagnosis. 

But he had forgotten Cooper was like this.

“Why are you writing any of this down?” He snapped at Kurt who simply shrugged off his strangely sharp words. 

_Forget turning on you, they’re just going to ignore you until you disappear._

He quickly crossed his arms over his stomach and rubbed at his arms, feeling like something was crawling on his skin. Cooper was ranting about something and waving his hands around, casting shadows on the walls and floors.

_You’re a placeholder until they find someone they actually like._

Everyone was nodding along with what Cooper was saying, looking at him like a god. Blaine shook his head, squirming a little in his seat.

_They’ll do anything to get rid of you._

It all happened way too fast.

“Here!” Brittany leaned over and shoved a blue raspberry lollipop in his face and everything collapsed. 

“No!” Blaine’s voice sounded too loud to his own ears and he shoved her back so hard that she fell off her chair. Instantly, everyone was talking and staring at him and Blaine couldn’t breathe.

It wasn’t like what happened at Dalton, he was aware of what was happening. There was still a little voice in the back of his mind that frantically whispered that he was okay but it was covered by the voices that were screaming. Panicked, he backed up into the corner of the room and slid down the wall.

Mr. Schuester jumped up and quickly herded the students out, whispering for a moment to Kurt and Cooper. Kurt grabbed his phone and hurried to a corner, making sure to stay within sight.

“Blaine?” Cooper asked slowly, taking a few careful steps forward. It was so obvious that he was uncomfortable. “Squirt, are you okay?”

“Too much noise, too many many many many talking,” Blaine felt like the words were tumbling out of his mouth. “Saying mean things saying things that hurt hurt like knives.”

“Hey, you’re alright,” Cooper held up a hand.

“No, because because because because no one likes me. They haven’t for a very long time,” he noticed Cooper’s eyes widen. “I know I know I sing a lot. I sing lots and then at lunch?”

“And you’re upset,” Cooper nodded, fixing a smile on his face as he sat on the floor in front of him. 

“They’re going to hurt me,” he dropped his voice into a whisper. “With poison or hitting or drowning or shooting me. They’re going to I’m not crazy Cooper. I know this this, I’m not crazy.”

“Okay,” Cooper placed his forearms on his own knees, stretching his hands towards Blaine. “Listen to me, would I hurt you?”

“I don’t know…I don’t really know you anymore,” a new terror made his chest grow tight. 

“That’s my fault,” something broke in Cooper’s eyes. “Just take some deep breaths.”

“I’m scared,” Blaine’s voice cracked and tears filled his eyes. He could see Kurt standing nearby, supportive but not trying to get into his space or overwhelm him. 

“How can I help? Do you want me to call your doctor?” Cooper’s voice was soft and he felt like he was coming back into his body a little bit.

“No, no doctor. I think…just a moment…just breathe,” he muttered and both Cooper and Kurt nodded. 

The whispered voices and hissing words flitted past his ears and he jerked his head towards them, feeling his eyes flicking around the room. It took time, Blaine didn’t really know how much time had passed, until he felt like he had finally come back. 

It was like waves of exhaustion rolled over him and he slumped back against the wall. It was like he was seeing the room for the first time and a feeling of dread clutched at him.

“I’m not crazy,” he whispered.

“No you’re not,” Kurt said back. “You’re going to be okay.”

“I was supposed to get my shot yesterday but Cooper came in town and…” he trailed off when he saw his brother look down. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Cooper said softly. “You just calmed yourself down and were able to get back without any help. That’s huge!”

“I’ll have to change schools again,” to his disgust, he could feel tears filling his eyes. 

“We’ll worry about that later,” Kurt offered him a hand. “Let’s just get you to your doctor and then back home.”

Blaine had only managed to get two days off of school before his parents convinced him to go back. He walked quickly through the halls and tried to keep his head down. Word spread fast through McKinley, any moment now he was going to hear whispers of-

“Blaine!” Brittany jogged up to him, bright smile on her face. “Where have you been? We missed you.”

“Oh…” Blaine tightened his grip on his bag. “I wasn’t well…”

“Was it because of my candy?” Her large eyes grew sad. 

“Of course not! That was really nice. You know…I’ll explain in Glee,” he gave her a small smile and she took his hand, dragging him behind her into the choir room. 

Everyone was staring at him but not in a malicious was. They looked confused and concerned and it made Blaine’s head swim for a moment. Kurt was staring up at him and almost got up but he shook his head.

“Can I say something?” He asked Mr. Schuester and the teacher nodded, smiling. “Um…so I’m sorry for freaking you guys out…I’ve been experiencing a bit of stress lately and…I have schizophrenia. I’ve been hospitalized and I’ve been on medication since I was thirteen. I know it’s weird and I know-“

“Are you going to drown babies or anything like in the movie with Russell Crowe?” Puck called out.

“I’ll try to refrain,” Blaine found himself smiling as the rest of the group glared at Puck.

“Then you’re cool,” with a shrug, Puck leaned back in his chair. 

Blaine found himself unable to stop smiling. A few people asked how they could help and some seemed especially interested in his condition. There was no cruel taunts or hateful words. This was a family, a family that Blaine was a part of.  


	3. Real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Please write a sequel to Fraying where Blaine makes progress and his graduation or something? Maybe proposing to Kurt etc :-)
> 
> Prompt: You’re the sweetest<3 Since I don’t know what you want to be canon for the Fraying verse this could be AU I guess? Blaine cheating was only him hallucinating because he got bad when Kurt moved to NY. But after a few weeks they both figure out the truth and get back together.

Something was very, very, very wrong. 

Blaine sat over the edge of the bed, digging trembling hands over his face. His mind felt like it had been splintering for months. Ever since Kurt, his anchor had left he felt like nothing was tying him to earth. He tried to join clubs and keep himself busy (distracted) but nothing worked.

_He’s not answering your calls because he’s tired of you._

_He’s sleeping with someone else._

_He’s forgotten about you and why wouldn’t he?_

_Why would he want to be tied down to a stupid insecure high school boyfriend? Especially a crazy one?_

When Eli had started talking to him it had been really sudden. Messages popped up on his Facebook, he started texting him even when Blaine didn’t give him his number, and his phone lit up with phone calls. 

Eli started saying all the beautiful things that Kurt had and Blaine craved it. Kurt was still not answering his calls  _ignoring him_  and he missed him badly. 

_Just let me come over._

And Blaine did. Eli was all bright eyes  _too bright_  and wide smiles. Time itself seemed to fracture when he was there, quickening jumping from one thing to the other. 

He was opening the door for Eli.

He was in his room. 

He was lying on his bed. 

Hands were all over him, touching him  _too many hands_. 

Then he was sitting on the edge of a bed and pulling his clothes back on. 

_You whore._

_You said you both were forever._

_You’re a liar._

_You’re a cheater._

_You’ve ruined this._

He didn’t remember telling Eli to leave. He didn’t remember the door shutting. He didn’t remember what Eli looked like. 

_You have to tell him._

_He already knows!_

_He hates you._

Blaine didn’t wait a moment before booking a ticket to New York City. Guilt filled up the cracks in his mind like water, filling every nook and cranny. The confession sat on the tip of his tongue the entire time until they were walking in the park. 

Kurt looked sad  _because he knows_  and Blaine’s heart shattered.

“I was with somebody,” he breathed, tears flashing in his eyes. 

“Was it Sebastian?” He shook his head. “Who?”

_I don’t know._

“It’s not important.”

And then it was over. 

Had Blaine not been so consumed with guilt and grief, he might have recognized the signs of an episode. He hardly slept, his mind raced painfully, and the whispers never ceased. They slipped into his mind, reaching the middle before tangling into a swirling angry mess. 

Kurt refused to call or text him. His friends avoided him. 

He had no one but the whispers in his ears. 

_They all know you’re horrible._

_They all know you’d be better off dead._

_They all know-_

Stop. 

With trembling hands, Blaine reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, dialing Kurt’s number quickly. He closed his eyes and pressed his phone to his ear, counting the rings. 

Ring.

_He’s not going to pick up._

Ring. 

_He’s not going to pick up._

Ring.

_He’s not-_

“Blaine?” A sob burst out and he curled in on himself. “Are you alright?”

“I’m flying,” he choked and the background noise went silent. 

“Tell me what’s happening,” Kurt’s voice trembled. “Are you safe?”

“You were the thing anchoring me to earth. You held me here. When you left I went up, up, up and I’m flying to the atmosphere and everything is so thin,” he sucked in a wheezing breath. “I can’t breathe.”

“Yes you can Blaine. Breathe,” Kurt said gently until he was able to gasp for air. “You told me to leave remember?”

“I wanted you to be happy. I thought I was strong enough,” Blaine trembled. 

“You are strong Blaine,” Kurt whispered. 

“I’m not,” Blaine let out a high-pitched laugh that hurt his ears. “I pushed you away. I’m the reason you never called. Why would you? You just wanted to get rid of me.”

“That is not true!” Kurt kept his voice steady. “Blaine I never wanted that.”

“That’s right. I ruined it,” hot tears streamed down his cheeks. “I…”

“That’s not important Blaine,” Kurt sighed.

“Not important. Not important. It wasn’t Sebastian,” Blaine’s mind raced as he tried to figure out what was happening. “Who was it?”

“You don’t even remember his name?” It was clear that Kurt was trying to keep the judgment out of his voice but it still came across. 

“Did he have a name?” Images flashed across Blaine’s mind and he tried desperately to concentrate. “I was…I was in my room. He asked if I wanted water…why would he ask that if…it was his room…but I never left.”

“Blaine?” Something changed in Kurt’s voice.

“I never left,” realization crashed over Blaine and he slumped against the wall. “Kurt I never left.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’ve been having episodes since you left,” he could hardly breathe. “Oh my God.”

“Blaine, are you in a safe place?” Kurt broke through the haze. 

“I don’t know,” Blaine looked around but the world shifted in front of him. “Kurt.”

“Take deep breaths, you’re here with me.”

“I’m so sorry,” Blaine gasped, feeling like the air thinned again. “Kurt I’m sorry. I lied to you, I-“

“Sweetheart, you never lied to me. We had a misunderstanding because your mind messes with you. You are so much stronger than your mind, than those whispers. What do you hear now?” 

_Hang up!_

_He’s sending people to send you away!_

_He’s lying._

_He doesn’t mean any of this._

“Blaine!”

“They’re talking to me,” Blaine choked out. “Saying that you’re trying to hurt me and that you’re lying.”

“Do they ever tell the truth? Do they ever have your best interests in mind? I love you Blaine, I would never hurt you,” the whispers were still beating against his eardrums but Blaine could finally ignore them.

“Will they leave me alone?” He breathed.

“Don’t even look at them. Don’t even consider them. They aren’t real,” Blaine closed his eyes tightly and just concentrated on the words. “I’m real and you’re real. We’re real. That’s all that matters.”

The whispers faded enough until they just tickled the back of his mind. “Kurt?”

“Where are you Blaine?” The worry made Blaine smile slightly. 

“My bathroom.”

“Is anyone at home with you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Okay,” Blaine opened his eyes. “Listen to me Blaine. I’m going to hang up and you’re going to call your parents.”

“No,” he still felt dazed.

“I’m going to get a ticket to Ohio. I’ll be there tomorrow at the latest okay?” Kurt said softly and Blaine could almost see him smiling. “We’re going to talk and we’re going to figure all this out.”

“I love you so much,” Blaine whispered, for once completely sure that this was real. 

“I love you too.”

—

Proposing was the easiest decision Blaine had ever made. 

Everyone told him that he was too young. His parents worried that it would just cause extra stress. They reminded him that they had been apart for so long. They reminded him that he had his entire future to think about.

He didn’t need to think about his future. 

He already knew exactly what it was.

For his entire life, his mind had obscured reality from him. Blaine had never bee able to see what was there because his hallucinations would hide it.

But here, kneeling in front of Kurt and holding up a ring, he knew exactly what was real.

His love for Kurt had never been obscured. It was the thing clearest to him.

—

“I’m so proud of you,” Kurt smiled brightly at him through tear-filled eyes as he adjusted his graduation cap. 

Graduating from high school had seemed like something his friends had always taken for granted. With his condition and missing a large portion of school due to his hospitalization, graduating had never been a sure thing. His grades would rise and fall with his mental state and NYADA had been the only school that had accepted him.

Maybe they heard about the schizophrenia and thought it would make him into a tortured artist. 

Blaine didn’t care, he only cared that he got in. 

But here he was, graduating. He had done something that his child psychologists had warned might not happen. 

The whispers were still there, and sometimes they screamed, but he hadn’t lost sight of what was real. All he had to do was look at Kurt and he could tune them out. 


	4. Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Can you write more in detail about Blaine telling Wes/David that he has schizophrenia? Like in a drabble or something? Thank you, it was AMAZING!

Blaine was a nice guy, maybe a little quiet, but nice. 

When he had been moved to Dalton and into Wes’s room, he had tried to get him to talk with very little success. Blaine would look startled, stutter out a response and go right back to what he was doing.

Quite a few students at Dalton came to the school solely for the zero bullying policy and Blaine was obviously one of them. 

Wes found himself watching his roommate more and couldn’t figure him out. Something horrible happened to him to make him this jittery. 

Then, he stepped out of their shared bathroom and saw Blaine taking several pills from a long pillbox. The other boy paled when he saw him standing in the doorway and he swallowed thickly.

“Do you need some water?” Wes grabbed Blaine’s water bottle that was on his desk and held it out. Blaine blinked up at him and took it slowly, croaking out a thank you.

When Wes didn’t ask what the pills were for, Blaine’s tense shoulders relaxed. 

A few weeks later, Blaine’s shoulders began to tense again and he got that worried look in his eyes. 

“Can I tell you something?” Blaine finally blurted, scaring Wes half to death. After months of being his roommate, he had gotten used to Blaine staying quietly in the background. 

“Sure,” he set aside his chemistry book. 

“So…you know the pills I take?” His eyes were wide and fearful as he wrung his sheets in his hands. “They’re antipsychotics. I have schizophrenia.” 

Well that was unexpected. 

“But you’re okay now?” Wes said slowly. 

“It’s a lifelong condition. Before I came here it was…bad,” Blaine winced. “I was hospitalized for a while. I’ve gotten a lot better though. My meds are working and therapy is going great. I just wanted to let you know incase I like…flip out.”

“I’ll admit I’ve never met anyone with schizophrenia,” Wes said softly. “Do you mind telling me about it? I want to understand.”

They talked for hours and Wes felt like his heart had broken. He had only seen the condition in movies or as something that the murderer had in CSI or Law and Order. The stress and anxiety that Blaine showed was completely understandable. 

For days after, Wes did research to further understand. Just telling someone seemed to help Blaine. He spoke more freely, looking more comfortable in his own skin.

“You should join the Warblers,” Wes placed a pamphlet on Blaine’s bed, smiling slightly. 

“Oh…I don’t think it’s my thing,” Blaine blushed, glancing down at the brightly colored paper. 

“Despite how creepy it sounds, I heard you singing in the shower and you’re awesome. Plus, I did some research and people think that having an artistic hobby is beneficial for people with schizophrenia,” he nudged the pamphlet closer. “Just think about it?”

“Why not?” For the first time since had transferred, Blaine gave him a full smile. 


	5. Puppet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by QueenofGleeks: Prompt: When Sue accused Blaine of being a “Schizophrenic student obviously off his meds” it killed him inside, because he actually had a mild case of schizophrenia
> 
> Prompt: blaine is schizophrenic and has a episode in the choir room based in season 5.
> 
> Prompt: Blaine is schizophrenic and freaks out, thinking he’s relapsing, in Puppet Master
> 
> Prompt: I’m rewatching Puppet Master and when Sue says “If the school board sees schizophrenic students, clearly off their meds….” I started thinking of fraying… Maybe you could write a drabble?

Blaine should have known something was wrong. 

As soon as the puppets started talking and he started talking back, he should have gone right to his doctor and therapist. As soon as his head felt like it was filled with cotton, he should have reevaluated his medication. As soon as he noticed there was a problem, he should have spoken up.

But he didn’t. 

Being in this hazy world of singing puppets and bright colors was comforting. He didn’t have to worry about NYADA or Kurt being so far or how fast the world was changing. Here, everyone loved him. Here, he couldn’t be wrong.

_The others hate you._

_They think you’re controlling._

_They think you’re using them like a puppet master._

_They’re using **you**  like a puppet master._

Blaine shook his head, clearing his thoughts.  _Like an etch-n-sketch_  creeped into his mind and he found himself smiling. Lately his thoughts felt scattered and strange, flitting from one thing to the other.

He chalked it up to stress. He should have seen the signs.

The people in that room all hated him; Blaine could see that pretty clearly. Kurt was his one true supporter and he was off in New York. Spending time with the puppets was soothing and he felt so welcomed. The Glee club knew about his condition and they sometimes glanced over at him because  _they knew he was insane._

Puppet-Kurt and the other Puppets liked him. They didn’t treat him differently.

“If the school board sees a schizophrenic student clearly off his meds…” the rest of her words trailed off into the white noise in his head. 

He was having an episode. 

“I need to see Ms. Pillsbury,” he whispered, feeling the puppet move towards him. 

_“Blaine?” Puppet-Kurt asked, looking concerned._

“Shh,” Blaine hissed before he even realized it and Sue’s eyes narrowed. “I need to see Ms. Pillsbury. I’m hallucinating.”

For a moment, Sue faltered. She looked confused as Blaine quickly handed her the puppet  _ignoring the protests from Puppet-Kurt._ Then, without another word, she placed a surprisingly gentle hand on his back and started walking him to the office. 

“I need to call Kurt,” he stared at his trembling hands and Sue nodded.

“As soon as we make sure you’re okay.”

He could feel the strange feeling of  _nothingness._  He didn’t even really feel alive  _floating in a sea of white, fog and blankness._  He found himself sitting in a chair in Ms. Pillsbury’s office and his chest tightened with fear. How many times had he gone into these states? How many times had he sat in his chair in Glee, staring blankly ahead?

“I’ve been taking my medication,” he blurted. 

“I know sweetheart,” Ms. Pillsbury said, giving him a gentle smile as she dialed his mother’s number. “Just relax.”

“I need to call Kurt,” he said again and Sue took his phone, pressing Kurt’s name on the recent call list. 

Trembling, Blaine pressed his phone against his ear and tried to cling to the present. He was okay. He could do this.

“Blaine? Why are you calling in the middle of class?” Kurt answered the phone happily. 

“I’m having an episode,” it felt almost hard to talk. “I thought I was talking to you but I wasn’t.”

“Are you okay?” Kurt asked carefully. “Who are you with?”

“Coach Sylvester and Ms. Pillsbury,” he glanced up, ignoring the hissed _warnings that they were hurting instead of helping_. 

“They’re helping you okay?”

“I haven’t had an episode since…” he didn’t want to remind Kurt about the Eli situation. “I’ve been good.”       

“I know you have. It isn’t your fault. You’ve been under a lot of stress but you were able to recognize this before it got too bad. You’ll go see your doctor and everything will be figured out,” Kurt said soothingly and a surge of emotion broke through the fog like a flood. He felt tears spring to his eyes and his chest hitched.

“I’m so sorry,” he gasped. “I tried.”

“Don’t be sorry. This is going to happen when we’re married too but it’s okay. We’ll get through it like everything else,” Kurt’s voice grounded him and he smiled. 

“Blaine, your mother is here,” Ms. Pillsbury said and he glanced up. 

“I have to go but I’m going to be okay,” he smiled shakily up at his mother who looked terrified. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Kurt said softly. “And I’m proud of you. Call me later okay?” 

With a small smile, Blaine hang up and stood. His mother wrapped an arm around his shoulders as he swayed slightly. 

“I think I’m okay,” he muttered, rubbing at his eyes. “I think it’s passed.”


End file.
